New jokes
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I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said: "Good grief, where are your feet?" I must have left them in bed !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bed ! Bed who ? Bed you can't guess who I am!
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.
How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !
What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !
Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.
Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy? A penny-farthing.
What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself? Because it was two-tyred.
A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said, 'Don't you know how to ride a bike?' 'Yes,' he answered, 'but I don't know how to ring the bell yet'