New jokes
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What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.
Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady," replied Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose.
A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.
Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.
How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus.
Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of course!
As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What on earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on top,' replied the man.
When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top, but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.