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A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

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Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"

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How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.

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Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !

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An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. "What'll ya have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, that's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

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What happened when the barman died? The police held an inn-quest

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house, the car, and half of Ken's belongings

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Broken Bungee Barbie ...Barbie doll lying broken on the pavement

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - FrankenBarbie ...comes with bolts through her neck

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Shock Therapy Barbie ...car battery and wires included

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