New jokes
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A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
Stewardess" "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and land the plane."
Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please." To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.''
"I've never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely, won't you? "All I can say ma'am," said the pilot, "is that I've never left anyone up there yet!"
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer. Really? Why not? Because they're long enough already.