New jokes
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A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband. "But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the judge. "Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "I didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife."
Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years. Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part.
Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring... Wedding ring... Suffering!!!
Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day? Because she never marries the best man.
Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man? She wanted a big wedding.
Why was the broom late ? It over swept !
She was two thirds married once. What do you mean ? Well, she turned up, the Minster turned up, but the groom didn't !
Hey, you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine !
Where did the burgers go after their wedding? On a bun-eymoon!
Q: How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding? A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.