New jokes
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Comments made by Programmers when their programs don't work: Strange... I've never heard about that. It did work yesterday. Well, the program needs some fixing. How is this possible? The machine seems to be broken. Has the operating system been updated? The user has made an error again. There is something wrong in your test data. I have not touched that module! Yes yes, it will be ready in time. You must have the wrong executable. Oh, it's just a feature. I'm almost ready. Of course, I just have to do these small fixes. It will be done in no time at all. It's just some unlucky coincidence. I can't test everything! THIS can't do THAT. Didn't I fix it already? It's already there, but it has not been tested. It works, but it's not been tested. Somebody must have changed my code. There must be a virus in the application software. Even though i t does not work, how does it feel? How come you didn't find it during the system testing? It's a setup problem. And the Ultimate: A smart user would never do that!
One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!
Got this email from a friend: CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Customer: "I'm running Windows '95." Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isn't working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."
- Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? - Well, dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...
..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?
I heard that if you play the Windows NT 4.0 CD backwards, you'll get a satanic message. But the most frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!
Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years
Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.
What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night? No wonder you called the company Microsoft