New jokes
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A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!
Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !
Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver.
Brother: How do you top a car ? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.
Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ? Because she'd never be able to learn the language
Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ? Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough
Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her friend, 'you've lost your engine!' 'Never mind dear,' said auntie. 'I've got a spare one in the trunk.'
What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving ? A road hog !
Teacher: "Who built the first American car?" Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims?" Student: "Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact."
What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler? "Am I exhausted!"