New jokes
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The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor. "Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated."
What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw
What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !
Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician? To get a bit of light relief.
Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges ?
What do you call a guard with a hundred legs? A sentrypede.
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ? He had a bee in his suit of armour !
What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !
Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone !
Do you love me? Of course Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear Lemon meringue pie !