New jokes
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Q: What's the range of an accordion? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.
Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case.
Q: What's an accordion good for? A: Learning how to fold a map.
Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? A: A chainsaw can be tuned.
Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.