New jokes
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Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel." Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the man said and hung up.
A man walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks the agent. "I want a round trip ticket," says the man. "Where to?" asks the agent. "Right back to here."
How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is done by the automatic pilot.
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
Tower: Shamu two-two, please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok, let's see..., I think Tuesday would be nice...
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!
LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check Tower: It's Thursday, Sir.
Pilot: Tower, there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry, I mean it's smoking.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, you're number one, check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ..... We've checked, they're all working.