New jokes
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Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
Teacher: Are you good at math ? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math !
Teacher: What's 2 and 2 Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good Pupil: Good ?, that's perfect !
Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0
The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?" "Yes," said Jackie, and she did. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?" "That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!
Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack, Queen, King.
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
TEACHER: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference? Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference`?
Fred: I've added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers !
Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!