New jokes
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"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"
How are you doing in arithmetic ? I've learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.
Fred: I got 100 in school today. Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in? Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well, at least you can add !
If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don't know your arithmetic. You don't know my father !
Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. "What is this 45 in math?" asked her father. "I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!
If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11." "11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred. "What kind of counting is that'?" asked the teacher "Who's counting'?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."
Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank ! Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet !
Teacher : Were you copying his sums ? Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !
Teacher : What are you reading ? Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !