New jokes
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What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.
Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!
Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!
What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!
What animals talk on the telephone the most? The yakety-yaks!
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest of the day off!
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.