New jokes
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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one move s. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."
Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
Should I have a baby after 35? No, 35 children is enough.
What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? Nothing, you told her twice.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know, Sir. Teacher: Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?
Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.
Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.