Today jokes
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Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?"
What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin? I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.
Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.
Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.
What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get it?).
Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertainer."
What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done.