Today jokes
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A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said, "It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides."
My friend is so stupid that he thinks twice before saying nothing.
Did you hear about the stupid photographer? He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom.
I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it works.
My friend is so stupid he thinks that an autograph is a chart showing sales figures for cars.
An idiotic laborer was told by an equally idiotic foreman to dig a hole in the road. "And what shall I do with the earth, sir?" asked the laborer. "Don't be daft, man," he replied. "Just dig another hole and bury it."
A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, "Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then?" And Harry replied, "I'm taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth."
An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!
Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?
What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.