Today jokes
-
What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.
How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !
One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!
What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.'Have you passed?' I asked. Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'
A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!
Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow! I'm on my way, Father Christmas. Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on! That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!
I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition! That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season