Today jokes
-
What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti.
Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.
What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.
Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.
Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. "if I ever stop hating girls," said one to the other, "I think I'll stop hating her first."