Today jokes
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What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you ? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money !
Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in the kitty !
Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks.
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."
Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')
Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her.