Today jokes
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How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
How is a rabbit like a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.
Lara Rabbit: Do you think that's Sophie's natural color? Zara Rabbit: Only her hare dresser knows for sure.
May I buy half a rabbit? No, we don't split hares!
My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't. How do you know he isn't? Because I am.
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!
Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad? I believe he's eating your lettuce.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.