Today jokes
-
Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope." "Meet the biggest liar in the state!"
When fish play football, who is the captain ? The team's kipper !
How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !
What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !
Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!
Which fish go to heaven when they die ? Angelfish !
What bit of fish doesn't make sense ? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !
What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".