Today jokes
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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
Q. What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? A. Finding half a worm.
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog.
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
What ghost is handy in the kitchen? A recipe spook.
I'd say he was spineless. Yes, about as spineless as cooked spaghetti.
What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it.