Today jokes
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A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that. The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair! Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!
What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald? Sir!
Look at that bald man over there. It's the first time I've seen a parting with ears.
America's oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasn't got a grey hair on her head. How come? She's completely bald.
What's your dad getting for Christmas? Bald and fat.
Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.
Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they've lost their locks.
Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts.
A man sitting in a barber's chair noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, "Yes, sir, no one's been in for a shampoo yet."