Today jokes
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A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair. "Haircut, sir?" asked the barber. "No, just change the oil, please!"
How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.
What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper.
Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.
Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you?
Barber: And how old are you, little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well, I certainly didn't come in for a shave!
My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.
Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in ? Yes, here is a paper bag !
Why did the bald man go outside ? To get some fresh hair !