Today jokes
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A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? A: It matches their mustaches.
A woman was cutting her husband's thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities. "It has more vitamin C than an orange," she remarked. "And more hair than Dad," added their son.
A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up." Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that." Guy says, "That's how you cut it last time"
There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !
Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !