Today jokes
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Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!
Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in Beverly Hills.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? "Looks like rein dear"
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "change."
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork.