Today jokes
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My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't. How do you know he isn't? Because I am.
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!
Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad? I believe he's eating your lettuce.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do!
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift!
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.