Today jokes
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Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator? Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.
Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton." Salesman: Oh, that's just to keep the moths away.
Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too. Ed: Shake.
What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt? "O.K., you asked for it," the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.
What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots.
What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live.