Today jokes
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When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
Teacher: How much is half of 8? Pupil: Up and down or across? Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. So what's so great about that? It's snowing outside!
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
Where did all the cuts and blood come from? The school went on a trip!
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
The food in our school canteen is perfect. If your a bug!