Today jokes
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What's black and white all over and difficult? An exam paper!
Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
What was King Arthur's favourite game? Knights and crosses!
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4? Class: At once!
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America? On their feet!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated? Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile! Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland! Pupil: A reindeer Teacher: Good, now name another. Class: Another reindeer!
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?