Today jokes
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Why did the dog say he was an actor? His leg was in a cast.
Why did the dog sleep so poorly? By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!
Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.
Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children a dachshund? He wanted a dog they could all pet at once.
Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck.
Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down? One good turn deserves another.
Why does a d dog scratch himself? He is the only one that knows where it itches.
Why doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Why is a dog like a baseball player? He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.
Why is a dog so warm in Summer? He wears a coat and pants.