Today jokes
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Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!
What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you? Pupil: How did you know? Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!
Teacher, I can't solve this problem. Any five year old should be able to solve this one. No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!
Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!
Little Monster: I hate my teacher. Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age? Pupil: The sausage!
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
