Today jokes
-
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !
There's a guy who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station ? Because it's a 'mane-lion' station !
What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !
How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ? He had to get a new goat !
Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !