Today jokes
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What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.
Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. "Oh. Maud," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!" "Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."
How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.
What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.
My dad is stupid. He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car.
What is the meaning of afford? It's the car most sales representatives drive.
Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said, "What are we going to do?" The other replied, "Quick, turn the car into a side street."
What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away..
Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown.
If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel.