Today jokes
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Q: What are the small bumps around a woman s nipples for? A: It's Braille for 'Suck here.'
Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel.
Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip.
I love the lines men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?" ! Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."