Today jokes
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What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma'am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything !
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!