Today jokes
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Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture the moment.
Why is sex like a game of bridge? -You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
What do hookers do on their night off: type?
A man went into a store to buy some condoms. "That's 1 dollar 15 plus tax," said the store assistant. "I don't need tacks," said the man. "It'll stay up all by itself."
Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk
Q: What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? A: a $20 bill
Q: What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? A: Almond Joy candy bar
Q: What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? A: surname