Today jokes
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QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.
A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, "I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.
What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.
Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.
Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.
Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.