Today jokes
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How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"
If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and quackers!
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you!
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!
Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!