Today jokes
-
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can't swim!" "Don't worry," said the violist, "just fake it."
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down." The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving.
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.
Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola? A: A viola burns longer.
Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case.
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers.