Today jokes
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Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? Answer: He heard the snowblower coming.
Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur? Answer: Mega-sore-ass.
Question: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: A Lickalotopus.
Question: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub? Answer: One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
Question: Why do men always give their penis a name? Answer: Because they don't want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for them.
What have men and spray paint in common? One squeeze and they're all over you.
Why is food better than men? Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mother.
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.