Today jokes
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Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass.
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.
Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!