Today jokes
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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge. What's come over you? Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? "How many do you think it takes?"
What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?" "You're fine, how am I? "
The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he's in touch with reality now. So they ask him, " Why did you put the newspaper down first?" He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."