Today jokes
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What did the dog take when he was run down? The license number of the car that hit him.
What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper.
What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
What happened when the shaggy dog swallowed a teaspoon? He wasn't able to stir.
What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet? A thousand dogs.
What is a baseball dog? One that chases fowls.
What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour? A double crosser.
What is black and white and red all over? A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.
What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up? A dog.
What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella? The umbrella can be shut up.