Today jokes
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If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don't know your arithmetic. You don't know my father !
Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. "What is this 45 in math?" asked her father. "I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!
If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11." "11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred. "What kind of counting is that'?" asked the teacher "Who's counting'?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."
Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank ! Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet !
Teacher : Were you copying his sums ? Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !
Teacher : What are you reading ? Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !
Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !
Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce ! Pupil : Let us out of school early !
Teacher : Billy, please don't whistle while studying. Billy : Oh, but I'm not studying - just whistling !