Today jokes
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Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail !
Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ? Pupil : A fight !
Teacher : What is a comet ? Pupil : A star with a tail Teacher: Can you name one ? Pupil: Lassie !
Teacher : The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it ? Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !
Teacher : What is the most common phrase used in school ? Pupil : I don't know Teacher: Correct !
Teacher : Why are you the only child in the classroom today ? Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday !
Father: Well Son, how are your exam results ? Son: They're under water Father: What do you mean ? Son: Below "C" level !
Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil : How long for the answer sir !
Teacher : What are you doing, crawling into school ten minutes late ? Pupil : Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late !
Where do children learn their ABC's ? At LMN-tary school !