Today jokes
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What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners ? Mercy !
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
How do bees get to school ? By school buzz !
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ? Pupil: I get up early !
Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ? About an hour and a half after I arrived at school
Mother: How do you like your new teacher ? Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !
Mother: Does your teacher like you ? Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper !
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !
Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !