Today jokes
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Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ? Pupil: All of them !
Teacher: What is can't short for ? Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ? Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !
Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !
Teacher: What's the longest word in the English language ? Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !
Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ? Pupil: Hong Kong Teacher: Why do you say that ? Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense !
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ? Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ? Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair !