Today jokes
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What's the definition of a school report? A poison pen letter from the principal.
Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail.
What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It's a dead letter day.
How does a ghost start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
Last night I wrote myself a letter. But I forgot to sign it and now I don't know who it's from.
What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter? Best vicious . . .
Betty was scribbling industriously over some paper with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing. "I'm not drawing, Mom," she said indignantly, "I'm writing a letter to Fred." "But you can't write," Mom pointed out. "That's all right," said Betty, "Fred can't read."
How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West? By Bony Express.
Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with "I." Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am." Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.