Today jokes
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Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter ! I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet !
Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !
"Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup!" "My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.
CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.
Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.
Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt! Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
How did you find the weather at camp? It was easy. I just went outside - and there it was!
A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along. 'It smells like rain,' he said to the boy. The city boy replied, 'They said it was lemonade.'